Today is day 3 of being on the seizure medicine. So far she seems to be tolerating it ok other than a loss of appetite. She's really grumpy today, but how do I know if that just the medicine or something else going on? I can't even begin to say how much I hate this medicine. I seriously get a physical gut wrenching ill stomach every time I give it to her. She's on 2.5 mls of Valproic Acid three times a day. This now means we also get to go and do lovely blood draws every 3-6 months because of the way it processes through her liver. Have I ever mentioned how fun it is to a blood draw with her? She's the hardest stick ever.
I think I'm having such a hard time dealing with this is because I control every single aspect of her life. When she eats, what she eats, when she gets a diaper change, where she goes, what she wears, what time she goes to bed, what toy she will play with, what movie she will watch. She doesn't ask for anything so I just make all the choices for her. Seeing her have a seizure and not being able to control that or do a damn thing about it is so hard. It's scary, it's sad, it's the most helpless, horrible feeling I've ever experienced. Ever. Period. I hate it.
I think I'm having such a hard time dealing with this is because I control every single aspect of her life. When she eats, what she eats, when she gets a diaper change, where she goes, what she wears, what time she goes to bed, what toy she will play with, what movie she will watch. She doesn't ask for anything so I just make all the choices for her. Seeing her have a seizure and not being able to control that or do a damn thing about it is so hard. It's scary, it's sad, it's the most helpless, horrible feeling I've ever experienced. Ever. Period. I hate it.
1 comment:
I can relate, completely. Being in control of every aspect of our childrens lives leaves us feeing incredibly helpless when we can NOT control something. And it sucks. :( I hope that the medication prevents and more seizures and you get back to "normal".
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