The C Word

c.a.n.c.e.r.  One stupid little word.  One stupid little word that doesn't care who you are, where you are or where you're going.  One stupid little word that can literally stop you on a dime.  One stupid little word that can totally change your perspective on things.  It doesn't matter what type, what size, what stage...it's a stupid little scary word.  

A few months ago I noticed a funny looking spot on Aaron's chest.  I kept telling him I didn't like how it looked and to get it checked out.  After a bit of nagging he finally made an appointment and it was removed and biopsied.  Didn't really give it another thought until the Dr. called two weeks ago and said that his pathology report came back and it was positive.  Melanoma. I had a really hard time last week coming to terms with it and of course, my mind went to the worst possible case scenarios.  I didn't get to speak to the doctor and I had a million questions I wanted answered.  I made the worst decision possible to google it and of course, if you googled taking an aspirin that would scare the heck out of you too.   

Aaron and I are truly a team.  It's taken us years and some bumpy spots along the way but we have it down to a bit of a science and we work together to care for Alex and Zach and there is no way I could do what I do without him.  He's the flip to my flop, the ying to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly and it just plain sucks how one stupid little word has to make me truly contemplate everything when sometimes it's already hard enough to keep my head above water.  

Thursday Zach had to have a procedure done on his ear and as God would have planned it, it turns out that the doctor that we were seeing is the surgeon that is going to be doing Aaron's surgery.  After Zach's procedure the nurse took Zach out of the room so we were able to speak to the doctor and ask her all the questions that were weighing on our minds.  She had already spoken to Aaron's doctor, she had his pathology report pulled up and told us that it was a Stage 1 and thankfully, we caught it early.  She walked us through the procedure, what to expect post-op and what to expect moving forward.  She was very reassuring.  We both really felt a whole lot better after we spoke to her.

Hugs have definitely been a little tighter lately.  I love you's, while always aplenty, aren't so autonomous, little things have stayed just that, little things and a brand new level of appreciation has been born.  

I know he's going to be fine, but prayers for next Friday are greatly appreciated.